15 Year Old(ish) Guy (empty sample cup in hand): Can I have another one?
Chinese Chicken Salad Sample Lady: Did you already get one?
15 Year Old(ish) Guy: Yes.
Chinese Chicken Salad Sample Lady: Did you like it?
15 Year Old(ish) Guy: Yes.
Chinese Chicken Salad Sample Lady: OK.
Costco is hell on earth, seriously. And I steer clear of any and all samples given out there because people descend upon the sample ladies like a throng of starving vultures seeking prey. Personally, I can live without a free bite size piece of chicken salad, which is probably filled with all sorts of chemicals and bacteria and proffered by the sample Nazi lady...but I digress. I have been stepped on, pushed, shoved, cursed at, and run over by shopping carts at Costco plenty of times. Now, I run in and grab the bathroom tissue and a few other things (mostly non-edible items) and head out as quickly as possible. After I am safe in my car again, I can breathe. Another battle fought and won. Carry on.
ReplyDeleteI have to blame Songbird.
ReplyDeleteSongbird, I, too, hate Costco and dread going there. Maybe we should make our trips together, strength and safety in numbers and all that.
ReplyDeleteAlso, it looks like Joey-baby likes you and doesn't quite know how to tell you. Kind of like how the boys would pull your hair and run away in grade school. Next thing you know, you'll be holding hands during recess. ;)
I'm sorry Songbird, if you've been mislead. The truth is I have a crush on Mustard that I'm trying to enjoy as much as possible, knowing I will be banished at any moment.
ReplyDeleteI go to BJs for my 5,000-pack of TP, Bounty, Zip-Lock baggies, etc. I don't mind it!
ReplyDeleteThe key, ladies and gentlemen, is to go (anywhere) at about 8:30PM on a Monday or Tuesday night. No one is there. There are no lines. And because of this lack of customers there are no samples handed out at that time. Which is either a dire tragedy or a bonus. It depends on how much you appreciate preservative-filled frozen foods cooked in a little toaster oven.
Okay, I have learned much today.
ReplyDelete#1. Joey-baby doesn't really like me, but he has a crush on Mustard. This is okay with me. Really.
#2. Mustard and I can join forces and invade Costco together, first mapping out our plan and escaping as quickly as possible. This could be a fun adventure.
#3. Gretchen has offered some ideas for times when the aforementioned Costco will not be busy. I work across the street, and can see the Costco parking lot from our office windows, although my personal office window actually overlooks Marie Callendar's which is another store altogether. I try to go to Costco on my lunch hour (yes, I am a fool). However, I do appreciate the fact that perhaps, if I venture over there after work, there will be no Nazi Sample Ladies handing out crap aka preservative-filled frozen foods) cooked in little toaster ovens (how I love you for this image, Gretchen.
Back to my regular scheduled...eh...stuff I am supposed to be doing....
Gretchen, you are a GENIUS, and I shall do as you recommend.
ReplyDeleteSongbird, let's do it. I just went yesterday, so it will be another 10 days or so before I run out of the yummiest frozen strawberries that only Costco sells. Seriously, my morning smoothies don't taste as good with strawberries purchased elsewhere.
Mr. Joey-baby, I hope your confession does not mean that there will be no hair pulling and running away to hide behind the corner on your part. That kind of boy-girl game playing never gets old, if you ask me.
Also, if I were planning to banish you, I would not have approved your FB request. :)
ReplyDeleteNow,Now,Now Marina,
ReplyDeleteWe both know you would be compelled not to let me get away with that confession.
Consider your hair pulled. I know the game.
And now I have to fake being offended. Also, I need to tell on you.
ReplyDeleteGo ahead, make my day. I have paid witnesses that will say you pulled your own hair. HA!
ReplyDeleteYou underestimate me, Mr. Joey-Baby. That's ok, most people do, until it's too late. I like it that way.
ReplyDeleteWait! Did I say paid? Nobody got paid. No pay at all. No money. Nada. Just good citizens wanting to right a wrong. They'll even pay their own cab fare.
ReplyDeleteI'm not most people Mustard-Baby. Count on it.
ReplyDeleteSo, I'm counting already.
ReplyDeleteLuckily, I'm very good at math.
Sassy, smart, witty, quick, photogenic, - What's not to like?
ReplyDeleteI forgot healthy boobs.
ReplyDeleteI think you meant to say "what's not to love." That's ok, everyone makes mistakes.
ReplyDeleteMustard!! Now you're getting greedy, Muffy.
ReplyDeleteEarlier today, out of the kindness of my heart, I took your cue and set myself for you to take a whack, and you did.
Now you want a second shot on the same day? I don't think so, Tink. Plus I'm supposed to use the dreaded "L" word to boot? Sorry, Baby, not twice in one day. Let's shoot for Thursday.
Well, I will toss you this scrap. See what you can do with it. Maybe it will hold you over.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wbPET2LjAHA
Oh, you silly goose! I didn't say that you had to love me, just that I (am) lovable.
ReplyDeleteBut you go right ahead with your protestations. I don't mind. You might even get lucky and convince yourself.
:-)
Oh, won't Thursday EVER come?!
And now I'm getting the vapors again.
Sorry about your vapors. I just saw a commercial for Beano, you might try it. And don't pull the covers over the puppies heads and torture them.
ReplyDelete