You are just too much! Your license plate frame is easily the most clever thing I have seen in, oh, I don't know how long.
"My Next Car is a Mercedes"
On a clunker! I tell you, I'll be thinking of that all day, laughing, shaking my head, glancing up at the heavens, slapping my knee, doubling over while clutching my belly.
And when people say to me, "What's so funny?" I'll have to respond with, "Oh, you wouldn't understand."
You just had to be there. You know?
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Say My Name, Say My Name
The government loves us. The government does what's best for us. And the government knows better than we do how to handle the details of our lives. Right?
I don't know what kind conversation your parents throw about as you're hanging out on the couch, trying to watch tv or whatever, but at my house, they've always liked to tell stories about living under the soviet regime. Here's my version of one that I remember. Grab a hot chocolate, put your feet up and have a listen.
Apparently, after the soviets appropriated all homes, they set about distributing living space to their citizens. Now, if you were more equal than the others, your family received an apartment all to yourselves. However, if you were not quite as equal, your family was apportioned a part of an apartment. So, it was the norm to have several families in one apartment, each living in one of the rooms. Furthermore, it was quite common, living in such close quarters, for inappropriate romantic/sexual relationships to develop between members of different families. Of course, the affairs would be found out, and the cheating spouse would summarily be "kicked out" and move their belongings in with the new romantic interest.
And everyone would continue to share the same apartment. Because moving to a new place was not an option. You lived in the place that was assigned to you.
Moral of the story. Be careful how much power you give your government. You may be stuck in a room late one night, unable to fall asleep due to the headboard banging the wall in the adjoining room, unable to drown out the sound of another woman screaming out your husband's name.
I don't know what kind conversation your parents throw about as you're hanging out on the couch, trying to watch tv or whatever, but at my house, they've always liked to tell stories about living under the soviet regime. Here's my version of one that I remember. Grab a hot chocolate, put your feet up and have a listen.
Apparently, after the soviets appropriated all homes, they set about distributing living space to their citizens. Now, if you were more equal than the others, your family received an apartment all to yourselves. However, if you were not quite as equal, your family was apportioned a part of an apartment. So, it was the norm to have several families in one apartment, each living in one of the rooms. Furthermore, it was quite common, living in such close quarters, for inappropriate romantic/sexual relationships to develop between members of different families. Of course, the affairs would be found out, and the cheating spouse would summarily be "kicked out" and move their belongings in with the new romantic interest.
And everyone would continue to share the same apartment. Because moving to a new place was not an option. You lived in the place that was assigned to you.
Moral of the story. Be careful how much power you give your government. You may be stuck in a room late one night, unable to fall asleep due to the headboard banging the wall in the adjoining room, unable to drown out the sound of another woman screaming out your husband's name.
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