Friday Friendship File - Where I Lose Friends and Alienate People

Wait. You want me to give some charity my money so that you can get (back) in shape? How does your running/biking/swimming a vast distance benefit humanity in any way?

You want me to contribute? Do something really hard. Like talk to a disabled person and do what you can to ease their burden. Or visit with people in old-age homes. Hell, you can even clean trash off the freeways. I'm not picky.

I just ask that you actually contribute your time and effort toward something other than burning off the nachos you overindulged in last night.

You know what never gets old?

Reality show contestants talking about being "on a journey". I always thought that a journey was a trip from one place to another, like "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step".

But, through the miracle of television, I have learned that a journey is when a group of (emotionally disturbed) people (whose parents didn't give them enough love/attention/life skills) are put through a series of improbable and random situations while camera crews document their every move.

Thanks, reality show people, I think I'm starting to understand. Although, you'll probably have to talk about your journey some more. You know, just so I really get it.

Annoyance of the Day

When I can't find the end of the toilet paper roll in a public bathroom, and I just sit there and impotently roll it around 83 times like a dumbass.