Let Them Eat Cake - UPDATE

Man, you really hit the jackpot. 

See, while we the people were hustling to scrape a few dollars together, get some food on the table and maybe take the family to Disneyland during the kids' summer break, you pulled a fast one. You gambled that we wouldn't notice, and you were right. 

To be fair, the odds were supremely in your favor. We hire civil servants to keep things chugging along, faithfully pay the taxes that blanket our lives like moldy multiple layers of puff pastry, and hope that, at the end of the day, things come out pretty close to even. The vast majority of us don't give you even a passing thought.

I, for one, never suspected that I was supporting an ever-growing class of American royalty. Yet, with each passing day, and every shocking tidbit that is revealed, it becomes harder to avoid the reality that our governing bodies are the bloated leeches sucking the morale out of the people of this country.

Let me ask you something, Robert Rizzo. What exactly is it that you do to justify your annual salary of $787,63? 

What's that? 

You're the Chief Administrative Officer of Bell, one of the poorest cities in Los Angeles County? 

Oh. 

Well, it must be enormous, with a vast territory and a population of millions, whose welfare and quality of life have greatly improved since you assumed your position almost 20 years ago.

Say what?

It's a city of 37, 000 residents? Whose claim to fame is that in 2000, 55 Oscar statuettes were stolen from a loading dock located there?

Huh.

Ok, look, I'll take part of the blame. We silly common folk were asleep at the wheel, and the temptation was just too much for you. I get it. You're human. So, if you'll just reverse that 12% yearly raise you've guaranteed for yourself, and maybe cut some time off the 5 week annual vacation you enjoy courtesy of us tax payers, we'll just forget the whole thing. 

An apology delivered in a sincere tone wouldn't hurt, either. No one says you have to mean it. Go ahead, Robert Rizzo, defender of the people, the floor is yours.

"If that's a number people choke on, maybe I'm in the wrong business," he said. "I could go into private business and make that money. This council has compensated me for the job I've done."

It would seem that you need some time to clear your head and come to terms with the knowledge that the jig is up. No problem. Take a moment. Maybe one of your minions will step up and do the right thing.

Assistant City Manager, Angela Spaccia, (annual salary $376, 288), would you like to make a statement?

"I would have to argue you get what you pay for."

This isn't going quite the way I had imagined it would. 

Well, alright. I'm willing to keep an open mind. What exactly have we been paying for? 

Ladies and gentlemen, I present the Mayor of Bell, Oscar Hernandez.

"Our streets are cleaner, we have lovely parks, better lighting throughout the area, our community is better," Hernandez said. "These things just don't happen, they happen because he had a vision and made it happen."

Oh, well, why didn't you say so in the beginning? We could have avoided this entire embarrassing incident. Your streets are cleaner, you have lovely parks and better lighting. 

And your community is better. 

Actually, please bear with me, Mayor Hernandez. I need a few moments to digest the complex information contained within your statement. 

...

Yeah, after careful analysis of your data, I'm not convinced that we've gotten what we paid for. 


UPDATE:
John and Ken, of radio station KFI 640 AM in Southern California, are interviewing a resident of Bell, who also happens to be a professor at USC. According to her, the citizens of Bell have been trying to get answers about the doings of their ruling class for years, and have been left frustrated and ignored. Also, apparently the Bellsians practice predatory policies to suck up as much money from their serfs as humanly possible.

This makes me so happy:
http://basta4bell.com/